As a student intern of Marriage and Family Therapy, I often hear clients share their frustration with resolutions—those grand promises made at the start of a new year, only to falter by February. Resolutions tend to focus on fixing perceived flaws, and when they fail, they often leave us feeling worse about ourselves. Instead, I encourage my clients (and myself) to set intentions—gentler, more mindful guideposts for how we want to live. Intentions aren’t about achievement; they’re about alignment.

Here are five intentions that can help guide you toward a more resolved, meaningful life:

1. Embrace Curiosity Over Judgment

We often rush to label situations, people, and even ourselves as “good” or “bad.” This can lead to harsh self-criticism or unnecessary conflict with others. Instead, try approaching life with curiosity.

Ask questions like:

• What can I learn from this?

• Why do I feel this way?

• What might this person be going through?

When we replace judgment with curiosity, we open ourselves to understanding and growth. In relationships, this intention can foster empathy and deepen connections.

2. Prioritize Connection Over Perfection

In a world obsessed with productivity and self-improvement, it’s easy to feel like we’re never “good enough.” But the people who love you—your partner, your family, your friends—aren’t looking for perfection; they’re looking for presence.

Set the intention to show up, even when you feel messy, flawed, or unsure. Connection often comes from vulnerability, not performance. In marriage and family therapy, I often see how small, consistent moments of connection (like a meaningful conversation or a shared laugh) can heal and strengthen relationships.

3. Honor Your Boundaries and Respect Others’

Boundaries are a form of self-respect and a foundation for healthy relationships. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re shutting people out; it means you’re creating space for mutual respect and understanding.

Ask yourself:

• What do I need to feel safe and supported?

• How can I communicate this with clarity and kindness?

Equally, commit to respecting others’ boundaries. This intention helps prevent resentment and fosters trust.

4. Seek Progress, Not Perfection

Life isn’t a straight line; it’s a winding path with detours, setbacks, and surprises. Instead of focusing on the end goal, celebrate progress—no matter how small.

In therapy, I often remind clients that healing and growth are nonlinear. A single step forward, even if followed by a stumble, is still movement. Whether you’re working on improving your communication skills, addressing past trauma, or navigating family dynamics, progress matters more than perfection.

5. Cultivate Gratitude for the Present Moment

We often get stuck in the “what ifs” of the past or the “what’s next” of the future. This creates anxiety and robs us of the beauty in the here and now.

Set an intention to notice what’s already good in your life. Start small:

• The warmth of your morning coffee

• A kind word from your partner

• The resilience you’ve shown in hard times

Gratitude grounds us, fosters contentment, and reminds us that we are whole—even as we continue to grow.

Final Thoughts

Unlike resolutions, which can feel rigid and self-punishing, intentions are compassionate and flexible. They remind us to focus on who we want to be rather than what we think we should do. As a student of Marriage and Family Therapy, I’ve seen how these intentions can transform individuals, relationships, and families.

This year, let’s let go of the need to “resolve” ourselves and instead embrace intentions that guide us toward greater connection, understanding, and peace.

What intentions will you carry into the new year? Let’s create a space for reflection and growth together.